hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
