You smell like stripper and shame
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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