No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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