she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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