I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
