My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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