There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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