I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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