Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
