Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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