Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
