After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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