just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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