haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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