you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
