I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
