Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
