We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
