He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
