I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
