I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Randomize
