jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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