I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
