I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
