Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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