one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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