Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
