Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
