end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
