Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
