My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
