I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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