i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
