Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
