I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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