you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
