I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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