Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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