It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
