He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
