we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize