"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
