when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
