we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
