its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Randomize
