Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
