I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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