Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
