I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
