I think I died a long time ago.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
