office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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